Anything For Love
by thebree
Summary: My second spoof, set in the Marauder's era. Currently on hold, but I hope to continue it soon!


**CHAPTER ONE: SNAPE MCLUVIN**

Once upon a time there was a large, beautiful castle called Hogwarts. Perhaps you've heard of it? No? Then why are you reading Harry Potter fan fiction? Weirdo.

Anywho, there once was this castle, and four friends decided to make it a school for witches and wizards. Yes, witches and wizards. You heard correctly. Surprised? Again, why are you reading Harry Potter fan fiction?

Right. So, the founders four decided to make it a school. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But the story about them is for another time – for now, let's fast forward to a few years later, shall we? Into the time of the Marauders…

Wow, sounded like we were really going through time there, didn't it?

So here we are in the year of 1974. Err – 76? Or is it 65? Well – one of those years. No one ever pays much attention to that detail, anyway.

Anywho, here we are in some year of the past when Harry Potter's parents and his parents' friends went to Hogwarts for their seventh and final year. Because that's when all the extremely exciting points of their childhood happen. Obviously.

Remus Lupin slowed to a jog as he stepped through the doorway to the Great Hall. "First," he said smugly as he went to sit at Gryffindor table and immediately started chatting up a girl sitting next him.

"Well, of course." James Potter walked through the doors, eyeing Remus somewhat angrily as he took a seat next to him. "Stupid, Potter-beating werewolf…" he mumbled, looking sadly at the golden plate in front of him.

Sirius Black came through the door at an all-out sprint, colliding with a group of fifth year girls who all screamed and toppled over. However, they were now sprawled on the ground and Sirius Black was on top of them – who we all know is like _the_ hottest guy _ever_ – so they didn't care all too much.

Sirius laughed as he helped one of the girls up, giving her a wicked grin. "My apologies, miss." Ah – such a charmer!

The girl blushed scarlet and flipped her long, curly brown hair over her shoulder as he kissed her lightly on the hand. "Oh, that's okay," the girl said, giving Sirius a smirk.

Sirius' eye's widened a bit as he took in the rest of the girl's appearance. Her entire uniform looked to be about two sizes too small, revealing her, like, amazing curves, and large, beautiful brown eyes. Sirius glanced around for a moment and then swiftly picked up the girl and jumped into the nearest broom closet. (Which, of course, happened to be about two feet away.)

A few minutes later, the two teenagers tumbled out of the closet and began straightening themselves up. The girl smoothed her hair as she walked swiftly to the Ravenclaw table. Sirius made his way to his two friends and sat next to them at the table, smiling broadly.

Remus looked away from the girl he was blatantly snogging to roll his eyes at him. "And there goes number one."

Sirius looked taken aback. "Number one? I've been at this school all of ten minutes and you think I've only gotten one?" He frowned as he continued to look at Remus. "I… I thought you knew me better than that, Remus…"

An audible sniff could be heard around the table as Sirius joined James in looking sadly down at his golden plate.

Remus suddenly grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, forcing him to look him in the eye. "Sirius!" he cried, shaking him slightly, "Sirius, I didn't mean it! I know you've shagged more girls! Can you ever forgive me?" And with that he embraced Sirius so tightly that Sirius lost consciousness for a few seconds when he finally let go.

When Sirius could finally see Remus again he smiled. "Of course I can forgive you, you big lug!" and socked him in the arm playfully. Remus grinned and socked him back.

James, who was still looking sadly at his plate, finally raised his head and looked around. "Where's Petey?" he said, trying to take the subject off of his other two friends.

As if on cue – okay, actually on cue – Peter Pettigrew came panting through the doors to the Great Hall. "Sorry," he said. "I had to ask someone for directions."

James looked at Peter for a long moment before he finally blinked and turned back to stare at his golden plate. Sirius raised in eyebrow in James' direction. "What's got his knickers in a twist?" he asked Remus, who promptly pulled away from the girl he was snogging again.

"I beat him in the race up here and he's being very emo about it."

James snapped his head towards Remus and stood up very suddenly. "I am _not_ being emo about it! You cheated, that's all! You cheated! There's no way you could ever beat me! I'm James Potter! I'M JAMES POTTER!" he yelled and then sat down, his fists clenched on the table and his breathing hard. As if on second thought he turned back to Remus very calmly, "Plus, emo doesn't even exist yet."

Sirius glanced from James to Remus, back to James, to Remus again, over to Peter who was gnawing quietly on what looked like a human hand, back to James, to Remus, to the orange monkey sitting outside the window, back to Remus, and once more to James. "You know," he said, folding his arms and leaning back on the bench he was seated on, "You two would make such a good couple."

Peter looked up at him in a disgusted way. "Ew, Sirius. That's gross. Don't you know that it's _you_ and Remus that are, like, the hottest slash couple out there?"

Remus gave Sirius a look that clearly said, _He's right._

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a huge BANG! as someone threw open the doors to the Great Hall, making them hit the walls on either side. The four Marauder's looked around to see who was making such an entrance.

Severus Snape was strutting through the doors, dressed all in black, large sunglasses on his long nose, his hair hanging in an irresistible way all over his face. Two girls screamed at him from both of his sides and ran up to him. He wrapped his arms around their shoulders lazily and let them accompany him to his seat at the Slytherin table.

"Oh, Severus Snape!" the girl on his left practically shouted. Her long maroon hair fluttered as she giggled silently. "I'm so happy you're here!"

Severus took his sunglasses off slowly, glaring at the girl. "My name," he said in a deep, sexy voice, "Is _not_ Severus Snape," his voice was gradually rising as he began to lose his temper. "It is Severus McLuvin!"

He shook the girl off of his arm and promptly turned to the other who smirked and flipped her brown hair over her shoulders, quickly pulling him into conversation.

Across the Great Hall, Sirius Black looked around at his fellow Marauder's. "Severus McLuvin?" His eyes were so wide the other three were almost afraid they would fall out, but they didn't. (Would any of you be surprised if they did? I didn't think so.)

James finally had the glint of mischief back in his eyes as he said, "I'll show him McLuvin…"

Remus eyed him strangely, but shrugged it off. "He's an odd sort, isn't he?" he said, shrugging in Snape's – err, McLuvin's direction.

"I have a feeling," James said slowly, turning to Sirius, "That this year is going to be much more fun that I had originally thought…"


End file.
